I want my cyberspace back.

I want my cyberspace back.

The Social Crisis Analysis!

I felt the need for an alternative personnel contact number for the 1st time in 2017. By the end of that year, I scrapped one of the personnel sim cards. But that was just the beginning. I had to change my WhatsApp contact number thrice thereafter. I also managed to get four different personnel sim cards. You might be thinking why. I am coming to that. 

As I wanted to have at least one permanent contact number, I kept my 1st sim card for calling purposes only. I know that some of you have had the same kind of experience. Thus, I thought of doing a social crisis analysis.

The number of women social media users is less than that of their male counterparts [1]. One can read through the lines and understand the position of women here. That’s another topic for Zero Hour.

The Random Message/Call Torture.

Random Messages are not just my issue. It’s shared among women or more like a right of men. They dial any random mobile number and say anything they want to -flirt, show off, threaten- literally anything if the other end belongs to some woman. Once the other end reacts to this injustice, they will spread her contact number in porn groups or train toilets and harass her. I changed my WhatsApp number twice(in 2019 and 20) because of this reason.

Cyber Stalking

‘Cyber Stalking’ – I would like to call it so. Do you have any idea how many blocked contacts I have on Facebook, Telegram, Twitter, WeChat, WhatsApp, Signal etc. etc. & fucking etc.??? If an introvert and least popular me has this long list, then think about any active and smart woman out there. Can you imagine the situation? These people start stalking us on cyber platforms and force us to either block them, or in an extreme case, deactivate or change our identity.

Some of these people blackmail us in the usual way. Somebody did this to me once, and I was  courageous enough to ignore his threat. This resulted in a lot of trouble, and for more than a year, I had to keep deactivating my Facebook account. Luckily now there are message customization options in messenger.

Tired of reading? Think about us who reside on the receiving end.

‘PsyBro’

Bro Drama AKA Brother mania, one can use either. Some people in cyberspace do not want to flirt or stalk or random chat. They want to warn us and teach us how to behave on social media. In 2016 if I remember correctly, one such PsyBro came to me. He advised me not to put profile pictures with men. According to him, such pics would damage my social image as a girl (in 2016). He didn’t stop by advising, but he started ‘advice stalking’. Is there another word? Sorry for my bad vocab.

To get rid of him I had to give up my identity permanently.

Unfamiliar ‘Familiar Faces’

Okay, all the above were not just the case of strangers. Even familiar people do the same. In my block list on Facebook, at least 50 are familiar or related people. Unfortunate, isn’t it?

Public Abuse – Cyber Bullying

This is done mostly on social media by people with fake profiles. We often call it bullying. I would like to refer to it as ‘cyber rape’. It is. All of us irrespective of gender, caste, place of birth, or ideology must have gone through this. But I can confidently say that women are the toppers here. Boney M’s singing “She looks like a sugar in a plum”(Plum Plum chorus)

 These are only some of the hardships I have been through. There are so many such. My WhatsApp number is being leaked for the second time after changing it in 2020 today. I am sick and tired of unknown uncles kissing through chats and lonely guns trying to virtual fire on my wall. Right now while I am typing this, I received a picture on WhatsApp – the half-naked body of a man. Should I call this ‘plight’ or ‘inspiration’? 

What Can Be The Reason?

Have you ever thought of the reason for this? Nothing but patriarchy. Some sort of ownership mentality. A belief that women can have no identity or if they have some then that can be abused. Women should – even in cyberspace – walk in the way men suggest or else they will be tortured by random guys.

Women generally won’t move legally in such situations. They either change their contact number/identity or simply ignore it. That’s how society asks them to handle these issues. People, in general, won’t understand the sort of pain and psychological thuds that these incidents can potentially cause. One thing is crystal clear, nobody is going to stand with the affected if she decides to move legally. The toxic brains blame her not only for her conduct but also for the way she reacts to ‘such silly things/people.

Who Should Take Action?

Those who are supposed to take action, like group leaders, class teachers, HR managers, etc simply act cool and advise reading ‘Chicken Soup’!! Can’t they understand the breach of privacy thing or the cybercrime part? Or are they just acting?

Ironically the police are least bothered (or behaving so) when it comes to cyber crimes like this. They do more to blame the moral side of the victim than to address the crime and push the victim/survivor into an emotional dilemma. Even if they manage to register a case, the hope is meagre. In 2019 there were only 44,546 cyber crime cases registered in India, and only 15,121 people were arrested[2]. What else can be more certain?? 

I remember seeing a message on the social media handle of Kerala Police asking women not to give their contact numbers anywhere in public, especially during this COVID-19 crisis time, as all shops and public arsenals are collecting the name and contact numbers of the people signing in. Instead, women and girls should write down the contact number of their ‘male partner/guardian,’. This message is toxic in 2 ways.

1. The police are not taking any measure to stop this practice of collection of contact numbers of people in the name of a pandemic – a data theft(I don’t know the logic behind this)
2. The message itself is toxic and spreads insecurity among women.

The problem solvers are more or less the problem makers here. I have twice attempted filing cases against some people but nothing has happened. I was advised not to share my contact number by an unnameable(unworthy) policeman. But I decide not to change my contact number anymore and to share it wherever I want to. I want my cyberspace back intact. I am a survivor; not a victim. It’s my right and I will keep fighting. I don’t want to receive calls or messages from strangers at the midnight and I want to live in peace with all freedoms.

MEN… BEHAVE YOURSELVES! MY CYBERSPACE IS MINE!!